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It is known that parenting is not so complex. However, it is difficult to find integral way to interpret this notion. The interaction between a parent and his child is actually important. As a matter of fact, it plays a big role in a manner through which a particular child develops. Actions taken by parents upon the child and their attitude towards the things that a child does are of equal importance.
Parenting refers to a process of bringing up a child by giving him or her special care, love and guidance (Grille 28). Parenting starts once a baby is born. When a child has come into somebody’s life, then parenting becomes a necessity immediately. Parenting involves bringing up a beautiful, healthy, and well-behaved child that is why it plays a vital role. Parenting also involves countless responsibilities, sacrifices, and a lot of hard work. Many people are bothered by parenting. The reason is that they view the whole issue in a completely different perspective. This kind of parents view parenting as time consuming, exhausting and even at time a strenuous activity.
Parenting styles have been classified into different categories including authoritarian, permissive and authoritative. These parenting styles are very different as the parents are diverse themselves. Parenting styles refer to the manner in which a family is structured and managed. Parenting styles are concerned with parental attitudes, practices, behavior that show the nature and type of parent – child relationship (Konner 269).
An authoritarian parenting style is the most common parenting styles used currently. In this kind of parenting style, parents are extremely strict and highly controlling. Even though children don’t like it at all, parents using this style dictate how their children should behave. They like stressing obedience to authority and discourage discussion. This simply means that children are demanded by parents to do what they say. They should not even negotiate about anything or even suggest otherwise (Konner 293). Parents are so demanding and directive. They at no time expect that their children should disagree with them since they always want to be the ones to give orders. Most of these parents are known to be of low sensitivity.
Authoritarian parents also set very strict rules for their children and the entire family (Putini 38). They make sure that all rules they put in place are carefully followed to the letter. These parents impose their rules without any expression of warmth and affection. They forget that parenting does not only have to do with good health but also a happyfamily full of love (Konner 304). Whenever a child asks his parent a question about something, or wants to negotiate something, the answer that particular child gets is “The reason is because I said no.”
The parent, who follows the principles of the authoritarian parenting, is so stern in discipline, rules, and limits that should be clearly followed without any exception. Taking into consideration the following environment, it is clear to every child what is expected of him or her and his role in the family. There is no doubt that a child under such kind of parenting feels that their affection is minimal (Putini 41). This parent tends to think that explanations are not necessary because he or she expects the child to follow the instructions without a question. These kinds of parents think that they are the best, and they expect respect in return.
The truth of the matter is that authoritarian parents spend more time emphasizing on rules. As time goes on, they come to realize that love in the family is already gone (Putini 45). Children tend to fear their parents, and this even replaces the good relationship they are supposed to have with their parents with hatred. Such kind of parents end up in stress asking themselves what they have not done that there is no happiness in there homes. As a result, parents should be careful on the manner in which they parent their children. They should be sure that it is positive, and it will not affect them negatively in future.
The other style of parenting is authoritative also known as moderate while others refer to it as the democratic manner of parenting. In this parenting style, the parents set limits to what the children can do. They rely on natural consequences for children to learn from their own mistakes (Grille 66). Unlike initially, parents explain to their children the rules and why it is necessary to follow them. Parents sit with their children and discuss their view of things on certain issues, though they may not agree. They are so warm and kind that the children feel loved. These also set high standards but do not impose them on their children; instead they encourage them to abide to them.
Konner (347) asserts that democratic parents play a big role in helping children to be responsible of their behavior and also help them understand that there are consequences of every behavior. The parents monitor their children and their behavior so as to make sure that they follow the rules and expectations. Parents do it in a manner that the children feel that their parents love and care for them. This kind of parents, at most times, always want to see their children as bbeing good and reinforcing the good habits instead of insisting on the bad ones.
Putini (77) stipulates that the other manner of parenting is permissive or indulgent. Parents practicing this kind of parenting style are usually warm and very accepting but then they exert very little control over their children. They do not see the importance of setting rules for their children, they allow their children to set rules and even schedules for themselves. In case they make rules for their children, those rules are not enforced consistently. Children are at no time tied up to rules. These parents want their children to feel free. Permissive parents also give children many choices to do even when the child has not attained the age of being charged with the responsibility of making a decision. These types of parents accommodate the child’s habits, whether good or bad. They are concerned about whether these behaviors will help the child positively or not (Estep & Capella University School of Psychology 117). Some of these parents fill that they are incapable of changing misbehavior while others simply decide not to get involved.
According to Grille (134), there is also uninvolved parenting, in this parenting style, parents demand very little and respond almost at no point or minimally. In the extreme situations, the parent even goes to the extent of neglecting their children. This parenting style evidences a very poor level of control and shows a good example of the parents who do not show any responsibility toward a child. The child is treated as the last priority, and he or she is even left alone. In this kind of parenting, the parents are only concerned with their needs but not those of the child.
However, despite the fact that authoritarian, permissive and authoritative parenting styles were used since time immemorial, they have changed significantly. This is due to the fact that children are being raised currently in a different environment compared to that of ancient times. Initially, parenting was aimed at ensuring that children were healthy, had respect, skills in all spheres of life. Nowadays parenting is currently only aimed at ensuring the wellbeing of children. With the development of modern technology, parenting has proved to be difficult and challenging as children are influenced by many different things, and hence parents have incorporated technology in parenting. These facts have seen immorality and all other sort of evils developing rapidly with children having no respect even to the elders unlike initially. Thus, there is an urgent need to come up with appropriate parenting styles that will help us to parent children morally.
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