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A relationship can be defined as a connection or bond of interdependency between two or more individuals, which may vary from transitory to enduring. The associations may be along the lines of inference, solidarity, business or any other social commitment. Interpersonal relationships, however, have their foundation on cultural, social and other forms of diverse influences. According to J. Lawrence Driskill (1995), the context of a relationship may range from kinship or family relations, marriage, friendship, neighborhoods, work, clubs, and worship places.
Pre-interaction Awareness Stage. Analyzing my personal experience, the pre-interaction stage was characterized by the idea of getting into a love. The intention to build relationship had been squashed by the preconceived notion based on the environment around me during my juvenile ages. I disregarded women on the basis that my mother had abandoned us. I woke up in the wee hours of the morning. I could not sleep because I was hungry. The light in my mothers’ bedroom was on, and I could see the beams of light through the door spaces. I heard the door’s flap, the light went off, and only the sound of disappearing footsteps could be heard. That was the last time I sensed my mother’s presence. The bold foul action by my mother to abandon us brought haunting memories that made me stereotype women as irresponsible and heartless.
The years whizzed and the haunting memories started fading away. I felt lonely and experienced a lot of emptiness. Whenever I went to a party with my friends, I was an exception among my fellows. Each of them walked holding hands of their lovers as they enjoyed the intimate moment while I sat in the company of my drink.
One day the Master of Ceremony (MC) paid the attention of the boisterous crowd. Visiting this event I met a charming girl. She was authorized to open the dance evening. Her name was Abrar. Everybody kept silence as Abrar meandered through the crowd to the rostrum to open the dance. I was pensive as I watched her from a distance. It would be great if she were my girlfriend. I started soliloquizing, “she is extremely beautiful, she moves with even catwalk steps as she gyrates, with well fashioned hips and a charming smile, she is my definition of an angel, and how I wish she felt the same way about me”.
Suddenly I felt a soft tap on my back that sprang me back to my senses. I could feel the warm breath near the nape of my neck. I turned in hesitation to see who it was. The person had gone and disappeared in the crowd. There couldn’t be one of my friends. None of them had such a gentle torch especially after quaffing the whisky.
I had never sustained a conversation with Abrar except for the transitional greetings as we by-passed each other along lecture theatre corridors. I was so carried away by her beauty and inimitable character. I observed her closely but never mentioned a word to anyone. I couldn’t predict the reaction of my friends if I dared tell any of them. Sometimes I could get jealous as she interacted with other male students. While meeting, she greeted or maybe waved at me or shook my hand.
The Initiation Stage. The initiation stage was an embarrassing period in my life. I had chosen to observe her quietly. In my point of view, this was an authentic way to know someone. I discovered that her favoite color was blue. She and a group of girls shopped around the town; she saw a blue dress that fitted her perfectly. She could not afford to buy that dress, because Abrar did not have the money. I wanted to surprise her, and that was a perfect opportunity. I went back to shop and bought the dress for her as a birthday present. I also bought a card and a bunch of flowers, in the card I wrote:
With every passing year, you turned to become elder, beautiful, and wiser.
Time ticks, it never stops.
At a constant pace, it flips over, a day is gone, and another follows.
Just to ask you later if you managed to do everything you had planned.
I woke up early very early on her birthday, carried the beautifully wrapped gift to her class and placed it on the top of her desk. I observed attentively to see her reaction. When she got to class she was surprised pleasantly. No one knew who had bought her the gift. After opening the box, she could not resist but break in tears of joy as she read the words in the card aloud before the class. Later I discovered it was the only present she had received.
I bought presents for her unanimously, but still wanted to know more about this girl. I was prompted to seek for info from a reliable source; in this case, I appealed to her closest friend and roommate. She was open to me and told me about Abrar’s past relationship which did not go so well.
It was on a Tuesday morning, on the balcony of the second floor. It was desolate and engulfed in dead silence. I had intentionally gone there with an aim to rehearse on how I was going to propose to Abrar for a relationship. She stood in front of me. I told her about my feelings. I got drowned in the emotion and feeling of it that I raised my voice and engaged the gestures. I did not know that someone was inside the adjacent lecture room, and I caught her attention. For all the time, I recited aloud she had watched and heard me through the window and door that stood ajar. The stranger called me to come in. I could not predict who it was. There was a hiatus of silence except for the wind that caused the windows to clatter. She moved towards me and stood hardly ten inches away. It was Abrar. I could feel her warm breath right under my chin. I looked in her eyes and saw she was crying. Her mystery had been unraveled. She blinked and tears rolled down her chicks. I pulled a white handkerchief, wiped the tears and gave it to her. I spread out my hands and embraced her with a warm curdle. I was brave to say:
I have tried to resist and run away from the feeling
The more I try the more I hurt
I feel like I have reached my elastic limit
I have a passionate feeling of respect and love for you
I have always loved you
I love you
The Exploration Stage. She loosened her grip pecked my chic and said, “I love you more and always will”. She spoke in a sultry voice as we dispersed to our respective classes.
We started spending lots of time together, we could call each other frequently and never wanted to spend time separately. We told much each other, and she connfessed she had noticed me at the party. We were not ashamed to tell each other how much we loved.
Stage of Intimacy. We appreciated each other as we got to discover our weaknesses and
strengths. We started planning together and dreaming together. We never called each other by our real names except by our petty names “baby girl” and “baby boy”. We liked to go in for sport; we could take a walk, go to the gym, jog, go swimming, mountain climbing, and bicycle riding. Besides we read books together, cleaned the house, watched movies and sang songs together.
The Intensification. We realized that we shared so many things in common and, therefore, decided to take it to another level of commitment. I went to the shop prior to her birthday and purchased an expensive engagement ring which I put in a red rose. While we were out on a cruise, after a sumptuous meal, I knelt on one knee and presented the flower to her. Abrar opened it and saw the ring. I asked her to become my wife. She stared in silence with her lips trembling and eyes soaked in tears. For a moment, it was dead silence. She accepted my proposal. Abrar came rushing towards me and plunged herself into my arms as I held her by her tender cheeks and kissed her relentlessly.
I realized that so many things about my relationship had changed. I could hardly feel the same way I felt when I first saw her. It reached a point when we stopped doing the things we used to do for each other. We called each other seldom. The sweet names were not so important, and we spend less time together. Friends poisoned our minds and rumors were spread that we cheated each other.
The stagnation stage. The tension was increasing. I felt she had become a burden. The company of the person I loved became a sour grape. Many issues went unsolved, the relationship de-intensified, and the result was unbearable. It was on a cold afternoon. I sat at the balcony thinking about my relationship. Abrar came and said she needed a break. Instead of asking for the reason, I asked her how long she intended to make the break. Since then I have not heard anything about her.
The individualization stage. The length of interaction with my wife decreased. The tormenting cold nights became so ruthless, and loneliness was the routine of the day. The following month I saw her in a supermarket. She was different and looked very beautiful. Our eyes met coincidentally, to my disappointment she grimaced and walked away.
The post-interaction stage. I recollected the old memories and felt rather stressful. This prompted to analyze my mistakes and draw a conclusion. It took me double effort later to ask my wife come back. We resolved our dispute and agreed never to let problems brew into piles.
In conclusion, it should be noted that relationships thrive on communication. As depicted in the story, the tension between me and my wife caused us to separate. However, through humility to accept my mistake we were able to settle our relationships. People should analyze problems and draw conclusions instead of procrastinating them. Communication will help to find mutual understanding. I got along with my partner because we had reviewed our past and found a common sense in our relationships.