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Love means so many things to different people and to many it remains a mystery that is truly mystified. The questions that are usually in the majority of people's minds are; what it is? Whether it actually exists? How to know that you are in it? What comes out of love? These are just a few but the list is endless. Love is in many times mistaken but one thing in common is that love is needed by many people especially in current times. The absence of love makes people feel alone and cold. It does not matter where love is coming from; parent, special someone, or a friend but people get addicted to it. Nonetheless, whenever love is lost, it is very painful. This paper is aimed at addressing the issue of getting hurt out of love. This is an issue that has been discussed by a lot of scholars and researchers with different views coming up. Possible reasons why love hurts are discussed in the paper which also features a brief discussion of the different views (Baer, 2004).
Reasons why love hurts
One of the reasons why love hurts is because the hurting person in most cases gives everything they can with the aim of demonstrating to their partner that they have genuine admiration and commitment towards them. The sad truth about love is that one has to open up their heart to another person and the moment they do that, they have exposed themselves to being hurt. Nevertheless, love is needed by all and this is a risk that is worth taking (Paseli,2010).
Love hearts more vastly when pure and true love is compensated with artificial love. There are people who fake love and feelings just to achieve what they want to achieve. Such people only aims at exploiting their partners to achieve some hidden goals with disguising love and when their partners get to know the real character of these people, it becomes so hurting and one may never be able to love once again. Artificial love is formulated in the brain of the person and conveyed to swindle the person they claim to love. Such people are usually attracted by the passion they get from the relationship or other things that they obtain from their partners to boost up their personal ego (Paseli,2010).
When love ends abruptly, the pain that one undergoes is surely unbearable. This could due to so many reasons, but the worst of all is being damped by a partner to get over another person (Holmes, 2006). There is much pain when one looses a partner through death but such wounds can heal with time but being damped is much painful and there are cases in which people are unable to love once again for the rest of their lives. this comes as a result of some sort of addiction. When one falls in love with another person, their heart gets addicted to their partners with time and this can get very much deeper that if it is ended abruptly, it becomes extremely painful.
The memories of the sweet times spent together, the adventures and places visited together, the shared laughs, the shed tears and the treasured moments that the two had always lingers in ones mind. A relationship is usually enhanced by both the good and the not so good moments spent together and no one wants to accept that all this is about to slip off from their grip as they watch. When a person turns their back on the love of their partner, with no rational explanation, the partners are usually left alone to struggle with their love; this leaves the partners craving for a very long time. as a result, it can be argued that love hurts based on the fact that one gets addicted to the parson they love (Baer, 2004).
There those scholars who argue that love was designed by God to hurt and that is the reason it does. It is said that pleasure and pain are two major things that you cannot fail to encounter whenever you fall in love. When one falls in love especially after being heart broken once in their love, they know how much pain it feels to loose the one you love and as a result they do all they can to guild their love. The pain of a break up even for a couple that is working on it to reunite is still there and incase such a couple is able to get through with the break up, their love becomes stronger and more intact than it was before based on the fact that they know the pain of loosing one another. Hurting out of love can be seen as a complex part of life that is indicative of our growing and this makes people aware that they can always give it generously to other people (Holmes, 2006).
On the contrary, there are people who believe that love does not actually hurt but it is the expectations that one has that usually generate the pain and anguish. The argument this school holds is that if people actually believed that love actually hurts, none would be moved to love or allowing themselves to be caught up in the rapture as they search for love. People derive nourishment out of their longing for love . As one is being nurtured, it is hard to let go their desire and cravings to fall in love. As one languishes with the yearnings of desiring to fall in love, they are tempted to do a lot of strange things. The extent one is ready to go or even ventures to do so is enough to surprise even themselves at times (Baer, 2004).
The hurting can easily be confused with disappointment as love, the major proposers of this view argue that this is brought about by the fact that this is brought about by the expectations that are placed on us as well as on our partners. Whenever there is a disparity between the expectations and the reality one gets heart. This hurting comes as a result of investing our hearts into the love relationships and it's not the love that hurts us. The major argument is that the expectations do not match the outcome and therefore it makes sense why people still fall in love despite the fact that others are hurting of out of these love relationships and this will continue to happen (David-Nacio, 2004).
One of the major questions that majority of people ask themselves is whether it is worth it to invest so much of their hearts into other persons despite the fact that they can get hurt in the process. The answer to such a question varies so much with different people but the truth is, despite the fact that people get hurt out of love; love is still prevalent among many. There are those people who believe that this is not worth it but in most cases these are the people who have been hurt before (Holmes, 2006). People whose hearts have been torn apart as a result of being let down by their loved ones try to convince themselves in remorse that its not worth to offer ones heart to anyone. However, the truth is, it is hard to control what one feels deep down in their hearts and as a result, any investment that one makes in the name of love is indeed justified and may be considered as pure (Baer, 2004).