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Creating a loving and lasting relationship involves having mutual understanding, clarity of values, life style check, and appreciating and accepting each other has needs and wants. When we enter a relationship with maturity, then we are likely to succeed in acquiring harmony we desire. Relationship involves attraction of opposite or similar values, motives, interests or goals in life. As we mature, we become aware of our true selves, and attract individuals who are connected to our true selves. If we aligned with people at an early stage of our lives, then experience changes in ideology and values the partner may not make corresponding changes. This will create problems in the relationship. We can try to avoid these problems by beginning with a process of self-knowledge, and then analyze our purpose in life. We clarify our needs, values, and favorite life style. People are social being and are in union with one another on this earth. When we choose a love partner, it is because we anticipate supporting and supplementing one another in our mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, and material wants. It is true we cannot get what we do not have from others, but they can help us in fulfillment of mutual understanding.

Learn to love yourself first

In life, if one does not nurtured nurture self-esteem then his doomed to fail. Believe you are loved, and lovable, and then you will get a mate who can love you unconditionally. We attract persons who will mirror to us feelings we attached to ourselves. When we doubt our self-value, we bother our partners for continuous reaffirmation that they love us. This is a fear, which will lead to constant jealousy, possessiveness, negativities, and overbearing, suffocating the other until they leave us. If they do not leave us, then they develop protective mechanism. Doubt of oneself leads to many denial tactics, which are not healthy for any relationship. This leads one into living a life he or she feels the other party need or expect from them, yet that may not be the case. Having self-confidence is very important in any aspect of life and a determinate of our success in whatever we want to achieve.

Development of inner security

Depending on one another is essential for stability in relationship; however, overdependence is a burden to the other and denies one a chance to utilize his or her potentials. Inner security gives us a chance to explore other possibilities, give us the assurance that when we do what is right then the partner will be motivated, and energize. Many people especially women, suffer abusive relationship due to insecurities; that is not a loving relationship. To be true and a live in our relationship, we need to develop self-worthiness and inner security, this assurance make us be in a relationship that we cherish one another not that we fear losing them. Internal preparation is an essential factor before one enters into a loving relationship.

Taking responsibility in relationship

We create realities around us. If we are not happy, it because of our attachments, expectations, inability to accept what life is offering us, and our fears. A main problem in relationship is blame game and lack of taking responsibility for our realities. No matter what causes the other partner to be unhappy, both are affected and need to seek ways of handling the problems. The key factor in any relationship is COMMUNICATION. Effective communication is a key to a fruitful relationship. Let us learn how to express issues not blame one another. If we communicate and clarify our needs and wants before we unite our lives, the relationship will have a good foundation.


Creating a loving relationship needs proper understanding and analysis of oneself before uniting with someone. Maturity is a factor in long-lasting relationship.

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